How is October treating you all? Did you know October is my favorite month? The foliage around here is amazing. It feels like Vermont. I'll try to get some photos for those of you who live in warmer climates and don't get to experience the vibrancy of the season. The bright colors and crisp air just makes you feel alive.
We already know life is full of lessons. The most important one, (and most difficult), for me was realizing that you can't change anyone but yourself. Sometimes we don't want to believe this, because it means losing a friendship, a marriage, or simply facing the fact that we can no longer live in denial.
Is your son or daughter doing drugs? You can't stop them. You can try to get them into rehab, but in the end they will choose whether or not they will start up again once they get out.
Is your brother a chronic gambler? You can lecture till you are blue in the face, but the casinos have a revolving door and he might decide to walk through it.
Maybe you have a close friend with an eating disorder... Even with all of your support, SHE needs to find the inner strength to seek help and manage it.
I know this all sounds very bleak and I get how helpless anyone feels in one of these scenarios. What can you do? You can continue to support this person as long as you don't enable. You can set boundaries. You can go to support groups, confide in friends, pray about it, and accept the fact that YOU CAN NOT CHANGE ANYONE BUT YOURSELF.
Changing yourself doesn't happen overnight either. The worrying will probably still be there, but you can find ways to deal with it, instead of letting it eat you alive. Each day is a new day to decide to empower yourself, or stay stuck.
I had to go through hell to learn this lesson. I'm a slow learner but that's okay. The best thing you can do for your loved one is to become empowered. It forces them to put the focus on themselves and that might just be the best gift you could give them.
Is this a lesson that you've had to learn as well?
Have a wonderful day, Everyone! I know my posts have been sporadic, but I want you all to know I'm in a great place. I miss you all and plan on catching up with you all very soon. Sending virtual hugs. xoxo