I don't have the words to comfort her. I have not had the unfortunate experience of losing a parent. I do know that life is full of suffering for all of us at certain points, that we are not alone, even though at times we may feel so utterly isolated in our experience. There are many others have gone through suffering just like us. Sometimes we just need to be kind to ourselves while we are in pain, and even tell ourselves, "It's okay, Sweetheart," just like you would a small child whose heart is breaking.
So I ask you to say a prayer for my friend's family today and anyone else who you know may be suffering. Have you lost someone dear? What if anything, gave you comfort in the eye of the storm?
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Oh my heart goes out to her. I remember the doctor telling me that my dad was terminal and then calling the family and worse of all, telling mum, who didn't quite grasp it a first, the pain is awful.
ReplyDeleteDear Debby,
ReplyDeleteMy head is swirling after reading this as it has only been a year and a half since Kenny died. There is no easy answer, and I would say that you have to take your cues from her. I needed to be alone, but there were certain things that touched me. Don't ask if you can do anything. She will say no. If you go shopping for yourself (grocery) and see something you know she loves, just pick it up for her.... or make it for her and drop it off. And be careful that no matter what you are thinking, don't look at her with sad puppy dog, "oh you poor thing" eyes. She wants at least part of her life to be normal. You might be that part.
Oh, and pray.... always pray.
~Cheryl
Good morning sweet friend,
ReplyDeleteI missed coming to visit your lovely morning treat for me yesterday; I had to run off to teach but I am off today and I am enjoying the bright and textured photos you are sharing.
I have no words regarding this subject. After 26 years of having lost BOTH my parents within two weeks of each other to cancer, it is often times still very ugly to revisit.
But this I know: both of my parents demonstrated the utmost courage and left me with the gift of knowing that when it is my time, I shall look up as my mother did, be ready, and say as she said, "Oh! HOW BEAUTIFUL!"
Bless you sweet and kind soul...Anita
I will keep your friend in my prayers. One of my closest friends lost her mom to cancer two years ago, it was heartbreaking to watch her in such pain. All we could do is offer our company and companionship, shoulder to cry on and our ear to listen. In the end, we all get through it, but I do think the company and love of friends and family is a huge part of the healing process. However there may be times she wants to be alone, and its important to respect that. Here's hoping that her dark path will soon enough have light again.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with your friend and her family. I work with survivors and I am so lucky to still have everyone in my life who is close to me. Every day I am so grateful that we are all together, and it is moments like this that remind me to tell them how much I love them.
ReplyDeleteI hope that the time they have together is blessed and peaceful, and that the only memories she holds onto are happy ones. All the best to your friend.
Incredibly hard moments, I cant imagine what your friend is going through. All the best x
ReplyDelete*heart sank* i will surely send her a prayer! - my Mom is real sick again :o( - it's tough - but just being their for your friend - when she wants someone - is all she needs - and to know that you are their in her heart too! - i will surley be praying for your friends Mom!!!
ReplyDeleteI have a too-long list of people who are terminal I pray for every day...I will add her to my list. It is so difficult. The one ripping me to shreds right now is a former student...beautiful 21 year old...who is undergoing treatments for acute leukemia. So difficult.
ReplyDeleteThis is my worst fear. I love my mother dearly and can't imagine what I would do if I lost her. Prayers to your friend.
ReplyDeleteThey will be kept in our hearts & prayers!
ReplyDeletealways, koru kate
Debbie...they will be in my prayers... so hard to go through!
ReplyDeleteDebby,
ReplyDeleteI will keep your friend's mother in my prayers. I lost my mother 2 years ago. It was the comfort of family and dear friends that got me through the worst of it. I miss her daily but know this is the circle of life and we will all face this one day.
Karen
So sad Debby. I will say a prayer ..
ReplyDeleteYour just being there as a friend is all you can do. There is little to say. A hug, cookies, a call just to say hi.
Continue to tell her she is not alone, that others are praying for her comfort and strength. During this time she will feel very alone in her grief. I will pray for her and her mom. When I went through losing my parents and other loses it was my faith that got me through, but friends who continued to be their for me just with daily encouraging words kept me grounded.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this Debby. I will keep your friend and her Mom in my prayers and you in my prayers, too. I know this is hard on you as well. My heart goes out to your friend. I lost my Mom to cancer so I have been there and am there now with my one of closest friends. Just being there is the most important. Love to you Debby.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are with all that are suffering. Such is the world we live in, trying to get from day to day and remember only the good. You're a good friend to care so much. Blessings to you too!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Debbie, I'm sorry for your friend, I lost my mother a year and a half ago,she went under surgery and when she was 2 days from been sent home she suffer an heart attack due to one of those nasty hospital bugs and passed away, what I can tell you from my personal experience is that I found from little to zero comfort on words, people told me how much they feel it and that everything will be Ok, I knew they where right, but all that I wanted at that moment was to have my mom with me again, to hold her and tell her how much I love her and see her smile again. Through that moment of pain the only thing I needed from people was a look, to look them in the eyes and to know they where there waiting to talk to me, or to hug me. My advice will be to be patient,be around, just let her now you are there for her.
ReplyDeleteEvery person is different and every mourn is different.