I'm curious, how many of you have experienced a relationship that has become toxic? Some people just insist on trying to keep us partnered in their dysfunctional dance. The same issues crop up time after time, unresolvable, and ridiculous. I've been there. I've desired to smack some folks across the head and say, "Wake up, you Moron," but even this would do no good - some people just never get it. They have no interest in moving on or resolution.
Have you had to distance yourself from anyone? Distance brings clarity and gives us the ability to decide when the dance is over. If we do engage at a later point in time, they are more likely to respect our boundaries - and if not, adios!
Life is challenging enough without people who insist on making it more difficult. What has been your experience with relationships that have become toxic? Is there a friend, family member, coworker, or neighbor that you've had to take a break from? Did you reengage with them at a later date with success?
Have a wonderful and relaxing weekend, Everyone!! xo
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i've had 1 toxic friend since childhood - but i always just stayed friends b/c we known each other since we were 6 - but then a few years ago i just ended ALL ties - she was bottom of the barrel toxic - and just polar opposite if me - she always had something bad to say about someone - never could be happy for someone's else s triumphs - it all had to be about her - when my Mom got cancer she went MIA b/c the attention was no longer on her - mind you, she use to call/email my Mom EVERY SINGLE DAY - yea go figure - it's like a MILLION pounds got lifted off my back .. oh yea, and i use to have to call her by a certain time EVERY day or she'd get mad - WOW i let that go on WAY too long, huh?!
ReplyDeleteGood morning my dear....I missed your last post because I had to rush off to a middle school assignment that started VERY EARLY!
ReplyDeleteOh do we all know someone that was too much of a toxic influence in our lives! The only way in my mind to remedy this is to be strong and just leave. Relationships are complicated, but must be a partnership. One person cannot bear the load while the other tries to destroy....
Your thoughts and photos today are soothing and very contemplative....good food for the soul my dear. Anita
I did have a friendship which became toxic. In the end I thought I don't people like that in my life - not a true friend, so I told her that. It was definitely the right thing to do.
ReplyDeleteHave a fab weekend Hun xoxo
http://www.intotheblonde.com/
Unfortunately, the most toxic relationship in my life has been my mother. Currently she is very far away from me, and that has been a breath of fresh air. I tried, out of guilt , to have her live in my home and it was a nightmare. After she tried to push me down to purposefully try to break my hip, I had to get her somewhere else. I even feel guilty writing that I have to have her out of my life...it is the healthiest option for me. I would recommend to anyone in such a situation to get out of it and far from it.
ReplyDeleteI had a friendship ( a long standing one) that became very toxic, this person was on a self destructive path and took all those in her wake with her....not a good situation. Finally after years of thinking I could "fix it" I realized she didn't want to fix it and that's why nothing changed. I said I am only condoning the behavior by staying there in the friendship and finally had to make a clean break and not be an accessory to her continuing self destruction. It was very liberating, of course I missed her (but only missed the fun days of our girly shopping outings,lunches, long conversations,etc...when she was in a good place). What I missed was a thing of the past, the new her was not one I wanted to be friends with. And turns out it was a good if not painful decision....it was the right one.
ReplyDeleteI was going to say I never have been, but I realized I'm in one now for the first time in my life. I hate it. But I don't know what to do about it. It's just a constant source of stress.
ReplyDeleteYes. It's a tough thing. The good girl in me tells me to stand by these people, I might be able to help. The insecure girl tells me that it must be me.... it is only in the past year that I am able to slowly let people back into my life who make me my best self. I'm taking it slowly.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately I have had to. And it was a really, really close relationship too. It was and continues to be the hardest thing in my life but I know it's for the best to keep things this way.
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend, Debby! xoxo
I've been in a toxic relationship before and it did take me a while to be able to step a way to understand how bad my was. Could totally relate to this post, lovely pics btw!
ReplyDeleteYou know how much I love music, I know. Right now, I'm listening to Katy Perry's "I'm Wide Awake." This is all we can be. Aware. When we are aware we can plan to make a change.
ReplyDeleteI'm learning to be stronger and distant myself from the drama seeking people .. who always seem to be able to take the simplest of matters and make a national affair. It's hard to pull away - sometimes , we think if WE are more patient, or perhaps tolerate the person will be a better friend, the one you know they can be. Sending you warm hugs ans wishes that you remain strong and always remember you have to take care of you and surround yourself with positive, genuine friends.
ReplyDeleteXo C.
omg yes! i am experiencing that right now and debating what I should do. Its so draining! Love the 1st image!
ReplyDeletelove from San Francisco,
Britt+Whit
I've only experienced a couple of toxic friendships. As I get older I just move away from them quicker and quicker ;-) Life's too short to try and make these relationships work.
ReplyDeleteI was 39...( 50 now) and getting those boundaries going took courage, but I am so glad I did it. And, yes, I have a better relationship with two of the people that I was having a hard time with. Now, if I can just help my 20 year old daughter learn this a little earlier than I did. (-: Beautiful photos!
ReplyDeleteDebby,
ReplyDeleteI think life is too precious to continually waste time and energy on toxic people. I'd take a break from that person, maybe they can change. If not, at least you won't be caught up in their week to week drama.
Enjoy your weekend.
Karen
I think it is a lesson that unfortunately takes longer for some people to learn. But the main thing is that I hope people have the strength to move on! Happy weekend dear!
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Chic 'n Cheap Living
I think this is something we all end up going through at one time or another. I've had toxic co-workers (which are much harder to avoid in a small office) and unfortunately toxic family members (which is even harder). As much as I've tried to change the situation, I've grown to realize that it's not me that needs to change and there's simply nothing I can do but try to distance myself and not let them bring me down. It's exhausting. xo
ReplyDeleteSomebody told me once that if you say "no" to a user (toxic) person; they will find somebody else to use. Practice if you need to....try "actually I can't, I have plans" rather than just a No. Beware chances are they ask what your plans are...this will show exactly how calculating they are because it is none of their business. Have a line handy like "my mom and I have something to do or It's with the kids....then get off the line quick...It worked for me.
ReplyDelete