1. You should never have to compromise yourself for a relationship. When someone truly loves you, they will respect you and any differences. You should be able to thrive when you are with them.
2. When it comes to friends with benefits the only one benefiting is the man. Females might pretend they are o.k. with casual sex but woman are much more apt to feel empty when there is no emotional connection.
3. You can't be friends with someone who is jealous of you. It just doesn't work. They will never have your best interests at heart.
4. When it comes to choosing a career, do what makes you happy. Sure, you can chase after the six figure income, but all the money in the world will not buy happiness. If you follow your passion the money will come.
5. You only have one brother, remain close. Someday your parents won't be around and you will need each other.
6. Find someone who can make laugh. The best relationships are based on friendship. Without friendship as a base you have nothing.
7. Clean your room, you don't want to end up on an episode of Hoarders.
8. If you are ever out with your friends and make the mistake of drinking or they have been drinking don't get in the car. Call me anytime even if it's the wee hours of the night.
9. There is nothing you could ever possibly do that would ever make me stop loving you.
Do you have a daughter? A niece perhaps? What is the best advice you have given her? I'd love to hear it!
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Great advice Debby...love this post!!! Im super close to Chloe and we have these types of discussions ALL the time:)
ReplyDeleteI sent you an email to make sure you received mine earlier in the week:)
Have a great Friday lady!
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Excellent advice. And SOME of us (myself) always learn much too in life, some of the important lessons that we HEAR from our parents, but are too stubborn to take heed! Then life itself has a way of getting the message across!!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy a beautiful day dearest. Anita
I have 2 sons 20 and 24...and give them very similar "talks". The drinking driving has already taken the life of a couple of their friends. One law i laid down...NO BABIES... respect women...cleaning up the room, almost giving up! travel, see the world..I almost got in trouble suggesting the same thing to my son's girlfriend. Last Christmas, my 2french cousins (19 and 20) stayed with us for 3 weeks surrounded by my sons and their "live in" friends. First the girls got scared, then I got scared....They are coming back to New York for 3 months to dance school. I hope they will listen to their parents and my advise.
ReplyDeleteSuch a wonderful post. My teenage daughter is now a young woman. I am so blessed to see the choices she has made. Some I hope was due to my wisdom ;-) but as Anita pointed out, life does have a way of getting the message across.
ReplyDeleteDebby I love this, and nodded in agreement with each and every one. I don't have a daughter but do tell my sons many of the above....love the part about "finding someone who can make you laugh" I so agree laughter is so important, and even if its not your husband, it could be a great friend....the drinking issue I drill into their heads, no exceptions and no questions if they make the call to me any hour of the night! And the whole "friends with benefits' I have never ever understood. Your daughter is lucky to have you, you are a wise woman:)
ReplyDeleteGosh, it's a different world that we are raising children in today.I taught my daughter to always have faith, to remember to pray for guidance, to listen to that still, small voice within, and to always trust and pay heed to her instincts. She is now a lovely, moral 24 year old. I'll get back to you on her 18 year old brother!
ReplyDeleteseriously Debby this is the most perfect advice!! Every single one is so true. I am constantly drilling these things into my daughter and she is only 9, but you can never be too young!! Thank goodness there are still moms like you out in this crazy world
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend!!
What a beautiful reading Debby and good advice. I'm already using a version of the 4, 5, 7 and 9. My daughters are only 10 and 11 (soon 12) so some of this doesn't apply just yet, but I'm printing this one out and saving it for later.
ReplyDeleteHave a beautiful weekend ;-)
"You can be anything you want to be!" xx
ReplyDeleteWise wise words Debby, you sound like a fantastic Mom xoxo
ReplyDeleteHappy weekend hun xoxo
http://www.intotheblonde.com/
Wonderful post, love reading things like this as I move into raising a teenager myself, its coming on so fast!! Janell
ReplyDeleteGreat post! It sums up pretty well what I tell my teenage daughters. One other thing I tell them about drinking is that it's okay to have a drink or two, but never, ever drink to the point of losing your wits about you and not knowing who and where you are. You'll be grateful for that in more ways than one in the morning. I'm not kidding myself that they're not going to be around alcohol, so it is better to teach them how to handle it.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing that is getting rarer is teaching them to not be self-entitled. While always encouraging them and telling them when they do things well, I never filled their heads with delusions of grandeur about how fantastic they were at everything.
Thank you! This one resonated.
ReplyDeleteGreat advise Debby. What was the most challenging part in raising my children was to try to teach them not to give up their morals to this world, but to keep true to what is right and what they believed. That they did not have to do what everyone else was doing. Also to think of others and not to always think of your self.. I wish I would of spent more time around the dinner table asking them what they had done for others or what we as a family could do and than did it!
ReplyDeleteThese are fabulous- I'm HUGE on #5, #8 and #9...I also tell mine to always try to see the big picture and not just think about short term wants etc...a hard lesson with teenagers.
ReplyDeleteDebby-
ReplyDeleteYou pretty much covered it! Great information.
These images are beautiful.
Have a nice weekend, Debby.
Teresa
xoxo
I have 2 daughters aged 19 and 15 and 2 boys aged 22 and 11, so the talks never stop!! all the advices you're giving your daughter apply to teens all around the world. It's great that we can talk to them even though sometimes it seems as if they are not listening, but all these talks stay in their mind whatever choices they make, but they will always go back to the advices we give them and they will thank us one day...You are a great mom Debby,xo
ReplyDeleteSo many of these were on my list as well.
ReplyDeleteI am a HUGE believer in #6 and I feel I failed her with #7. Oh I preached it but it didn't sink in - she says that's starting to change. She is almost 26 so it's about time!
I also told her to never be careless with other people's hearts and in our home the world revolves around her but outside our door, that stops.
Oh Debby what a wonderful mum you are.
ReplyDeleteMy mum was the opposite: she read the riot act. "if you ever date a man who is not from your own background I will disown you. If you ever get pregnant before marriage , I will disown you," She was old school and your approach is so much more loving.
Debby- your daughter is so lucky to have such a wonderful, stable, and wise mother. The love in this post is very touching and you have so much love to give. Thanks for this- honest and true and beautiful in every way.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful mother you are. I couldn't agree more with #1. Because both my mom and dad always reminded me of how much I was worth, I never threw it away on a guy. I was lucky to find a man who fulfilled all they promised was out there and more. Hoping I can pass this on to my daughter one day.
ReplyDeleteHave a happy weekend!
So sweet! My nieces are still very young, 5 and 2. But I make sure to tell them every time I see them how beautiful they are, how smart they are and how special they are. I like to celebrate the small moments with them.
ReplyDeleteYou are a blessing to your daughter! I'm certain many women reading this wish their mothers had made such a list. The little girls in our life are still very young (though growing up quickly) I could see me using your wonderful words when they are a bit older. Thank you for sharing such wonderful wisdom. xo HHL
ReplyDeleteOh how I love your posts. They always make me think and then they make me want to have coffee with you!
ReplyDeleteI have told my daughters that (this relates to girlfriends and boyfriends) when something doesn't make sense, it means someone is lying. Also, if you have to lie to me about something, then you probably shouldn't be doing it. I am pretty liberal mom so this last advice has held true. Communication is everything. They have made choices that I haven't been happy about but we can always talk about it, if necessary! I can tell you are doing an amazing job with your children just by the fact that you wrote this post! Keep your spirits high! Have a great weekend!
I would say you nailed in right on the head with all your motherly advice. These are the type of conversations I had with my daughter while she was still living at home. I would also include that she doesn't need anyone but her self to thrive and to always be true to her own values regardless of what they are, especially when it is tough. I think we have always shown her that since we have always been the conservative ones when it comes to my family....and my family is a loud, in your face, kind of family.
ReplyDeleteOne more thing...
ReplyDeleteI have these talks with my son now that he is 15.
Understand that girls think differently than he does
Respect them even if they don't respect themselves
Be a gentleman (treat them how you would want me treated)
Family first
Always be true to your values
Nice pictures!
ReplyDeletehttp://thestyleattitude.blogspot.com/
I have given that same advice. I have three daughters and one son. I have also told them this...
ReplyDeleteYou teach people how you want to be treated
and
Time heals all wounds.
Wow this is a perfect post. I agree with every thing you said here. Why do girls today act like they want casual sex so much? I always wondered about that? Do they need attention so badly? You're so right, without an emotional connection there is nothing...I just thought I was old fashioned. Oh and about cleaning their rooms...I think that was the most repeated statement in my home, and yet their rooms were never clean. But there is hope, because now that my daughter is married she keeps her apartment immaculate!!
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend!
xo
Sharon
Wonderful post Debby. My daughter is 20 - and we discuss these things daily. It's so difficult. Sometimes my daughter feels that she is the only one with morals and values. It saddens me that so many young women "hook" up and compromise without hesitation. My advice would be to create an environment whereby your kids will feel free to speak without being judged. They need to know we love them unconditionally.
ReplyDeleteno daughters here, just boys...
ReplyDeletethe best advice i ever got was... do not wait around for someone to ask or invite you because they are probably at home waiting around for you to ask or invite them (this was pertaining to girls, not boys LOL)
brett
Awh Debby this is so sweet. What wonderful advice. I was shaking my head yes to all of it!She's lucky to have such a fabulous mother. Have a wonderful weekend! xoxo
ReplyDeleteLove them all. I will have to add the "end up on an episode of Hoarders" to the clean your room chant I do.
ReplyDeleteI always tell my teenage daughters:
"Only boring people get bored" and
"don't get all wrapped up in searching for your 'eternal companion' (as some would say), because guess who your eternal companion is? It's YOU."
... and Everything you do matters. You might not see it right away, it might take a long time, but it always matters. Do the right thing.
I would like to wish you, first of all, the greatest year, since so many of your dreams are about to come true and I truly wish you the best, eventhough I do not know you in person; but I guess that when a person decides to share a bit of her life for years with total strangers, and those on the other side decide to follow those flashes willingly, effortlessly and eagerly we kind of become friends. I´m from Portugal, I do not post very often but I follow your blog daily, anticipating with excitment what the news are going to be this time, never disappointing and always revigorated and inspired. Secondly I’d like to thank you for letting a door open for us, so that we could appreciate through time the way you’ve evolved into someone so inspiring, so creative, so meticulous, so spontaneous, but above all, so genuinely true to yourself. Thank you, for I have also grown with you. I’ll keep on coming here, visiting you, hoping that if you come to my country one day, I’ll have the pleasure of welcoming you personally, opening then the doors of my house to you and hoping that you’ll feel at ease, just like I do, everytime I come to your blog. Cheers to you doll! Keep on being very Happy! and i hope that one day you may have time to visit my blog - it would be an honor!
ReplyDeletehttp://cottoncandy-peaches.blogspot.com
Love the "don't be a Hoarder" comment LOL
ReplyDeleteGreat advice!
Go with your gut instinct, it will never fail you.
What goes around comes around.....sometimes it takes years, but it does.
Stand up for yourself because no one else will.
Believe in what you are.
Great post Debbie! I don't have kids but would have appreciated all of these tips from my own mom.
ReplyDeleteoh, you are the sweetest and most intelligent mom Debby! my daughter is just a baby but i would love to advice her just as you do with your daughter.. that is so true and there are so many teenagers that need that advice...
ReplyDeleteDeja vue! These are the exact things I told my daughter...right down to the one about her brother!
ReplyDeleteHere's my fav quote on motherhood: Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed. ~Linda Wooten
Happy weekend to you!
beautifully said..I have 2 daughters and they are a delight & a constant source of joy...Thank you for this post...Life is sp precious and so are our daughters!
ReplyDeletethat kitchen - oh my!
ReplyDeleteI come from Latte Lisa!
ReplyDeleteI loved the way you put it!
I only have a 7 months old but keeping this for the future too!
Thank you
So beautiful. I just emailed the link to both my daughters - 18 and 20. I have said all the above to them before but you wrote it so beautfully :)
ReplyDelete