I often joke that my either of my dogs would make the perfect man if he could just bring home a paycheck. Our dachshund is ailing. I wasn't crazy about the idea of getting a dog. I had an energetic two year old and five year old. I had a husband that traveled. Did I really need to add house breaking a puppy to the mix? I lost the battle. My son, then five, sat int he backseat with the tiniest little dachshund on his lap, a smile beaming from ear to ear. It was then that I knew I would put up with any amount of stress this new four legged mutt was sure to bring.
Along the way he won me over. He was by my side when I was sick. He was tolerant when my daughter was four and she thought he'd like hiding in the kitchen cabinets. He was mischievous, clever, and amusing. He could be stubborn and would stop at nothing to get a homemade meatball.... but he's mine and I love him.
His Cushing's Disease is taking him slowly. It's awful to watch. The re-occuring mouth infection that will not subside, seeing him struggle to get up the steps to the front door, the gray fur that now replaces the once shiny red coat, and the shame across his face when he has no control over urinating in the house because of his illness.
So how is one supposed to arrive at the decision to put a faithful pet to rest? Is urinary incontinence a good enough reason? What about financial reasons? Time spent at the vet, only to have the medicine not work. I know lots of people face this difficult decision everyday. No one wants to feel like they are failing a sick friend.
Have you ever had to put a pet to rest? Were you comfortable in your decision?
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What a hard decision and yes I’ve had to do the kindest thing for my beloved pets and let them go. If your pet is suffering and in pain let him go, if it’s simply inconveniences help him to find a reasonable way to work with them. If he’s still having a quality off life work with him, if not it might be time to help him along. I know you love your pet but love him enough to do the right thing.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you!
Debra
This is why I don't have anymore pets. The pain is excruciating. I am a coward when it comes to creatures. I cannot see them hurt, so I just admire them now from a distance. Oh Debby, I am so sorry to hear that your little bundle of mischief and faithfulness has to endure this. I hope that the faith I have for US humans to have eternal joy and freedom from disease also applies to GOD'S sweet creatures! But why wouldn't it, right? They are part of the FABULOUS and INSPIRED DESIGN of divinity. Peace and wisdom to you dear one.
ReplyDeleteAnita
I am so sorry that you are facing such a difficult decision. My beloved Tex (he was a beautiful terrier) had to be put down about two years ago and it took me a full year to grieve his loss. He was my first love (we got him when I was about 4) and he was the most faithful, understanding friend I could have asked for. Because he belonged to the family it was a family decision to put him to rest as his arthritis was stopping him from walking much, he was blind and deaf, and he had no quality of life because he had some doggy dementia. I was there with him in the final moments and it was one of the hardest moments in my life. I know we did the right thing now, but it was still so hard to say goodbye.
ReplyDeleteSending you love and support in this trying time,
xx Amy
Hi Debby...such a hard decision. I haven't had to make it but went through this with a friend last year over her beloved lab that was almost 14 years (old for a lab) and in the end she decided it was the right thing. If they are suffering, I think you are ultimately giving them a gift, by not having them suffer anymore. I mean what is life if you are in constant agony. Its all about quality of life in my opinion as it is for us humans. I trust and know you will make that decision when the time is right. Amazing as you said how attached we can get to them. Its hard for me to imagine life without Teddy too.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry...it is never easy and very heartbreaking. We have had many loved 4 legged members in our family and over the years have had to make these very hard decisions. I believe a person will come to know when it is time to let them go. I also believe it is the most selfless, loving, compassionate act we can do for our failing 4 legged loved ones. It hurts deeply and it is a huge loss...
ReplyDeleteDebby .. my heart goes out to you... it is such a difficult decision to make. Our furbabies give us so much unconditional love. I have not been faced with this situation, though I have friends who have and I know it was the hardest thing they had to go through ... but watching their furbaby suffer and not being able to make them better was the how they based their final decision. For urinary incontinence, have you considered doggie diaper - it goes around their belly and will catch any urine when it happens.
ReplyDeleteMy friend, stay strong, ask for His guidance and listen/watch for direction...our Angels will help you through this. In your heart you will feel when the time is right. xo Blessings, xo HHL
So, so sad and so beautifully written;heartfelt.
ReplyDeleteI've never had a dog, but my Husband has. When things like illness took hold, and he is explaining it to me, I can still see his pain, decades later :-(
Oh Debby,
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you, as I have been in your exact situation, twice...it is gut wrenching whether we believe we are doing the right thing or not. Saying goodbye is hard, very hard. You are in my thoughts. Going to email you now. xoxo.
I'm on the same page as the one who wrote the first comment. If the animal is suffering then it's time to let go. It's a hard decision to make but I think it's the right one. I've never had to do this myself but some of my friends have.
ReplyDeleteI am getting close to facing the same thing. I love my dog more than I love most people. I know that some will not understand, but my dog goes everywhere I go. I will be lost without her, but I will not let her suffer for long.
ReplyDeleteEveryone is different and it depends on the owner. Sad, sad, sad.
Teresa
xoxo
My bichon was also diagnosed with Cushing's disease a couple of years ago. Right now, she is fine, the medicine is doing its job, and I have a false sense of security that she will live the rest of her life with no problem whatsoever. She is almost 13 years old. I just don't want to think about "that time". I just can't imagine. I have been told by other dog owners that you will just know.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find the courage to make the decision.
Love and hugs.
Nicole
It is such a hard decision. Sometimes I have just wished that they would close their eyes and not make me make that choice. I have waited probably way too long. You will know.....mine have usually had a way of showing me. So sad and it breaks your heart. Good luck. (((((HUGS)))))
ReplyDeleteDebby, there is no way for any of us to really know unless we can see them suffering. My daughter's 12-year old Lab has Cushing's also & she is struggling too. David Letterman told his audience, after losing his dog, it should be programmed that they go when we go. He got a standing O. We all love our pets, we've all been through this, but I cannot imagine my life without my Bono & FiFi. God Bless You, precious, and hold the little puppy close to you as much as you can.
ReplyDeleteDebby, I am so very sorry to here about your little dog's illness! I worked as a vet tech for 23 years and Cushing's is a rare and horrible disease. It takes over the body and you can't stop it. Personally it is my opinion that, yes, urinary incontinence is a good enough reason to put a sick dog to sleep. You said it yourself, "the shame across his face when he has no control over urinating in the house because of his illness".
ReplyDeleteDogs live to make you happy. Yes, they are mischievous at times but who isn't? When they potty in the house, or worse on themselves they are not happy. You could wait until he stops eating for days on end or until he can't move at all but unfortunately all of these things will happen. I am sooo sorry. I feel very much for animals and I am near tears just writing and I know how heartbreaking of a dicision this is but if you came into my clinic I and the doctors as well would say it's time.
It's a act of love to stop the suffering of our pets.
Hugs, hugs, and more hugs,
Connie
so cute !
ReplyDeleteI just do not think I ever could, and I do not envy your position. My Sophie (doggie) is my baby, and I hate watching her get older and slower. You have a heartbreaking choice to make; either way will be filled with pain - watching or knowing. I wish you peace in your decision, whatever it may be. And as a previous poster said: hugs, hugs and more hugs.
ReplyDeleteLast May we had to put our cat to rest. The whole family gathered together as we said good bye but we knew we were doing the right and kind thing. My youngest daughter who was then 9 had the hardest time. She cried every night for about 6 months, but now she is much stronger from the experience. It's so sad but we need to face the sometimes painful changes that life brings, mourn them, and then be free to enjoy the good memories! Good luck with this hard decision!
ReplyDeletexo
Sharon
Thank God we did not have to make this decision. Our Cappi had a seizure and died while at the vet two weeks ago. We are still heart sick, but thankful that the decision was taken out of our hands. I will pray for you right now. Mona
ReplyDeleteOh Debby.. been there, and totally understand where you are at. Sometimes I feel I love my dogs more than {some} people! It's so difficult with pets as they can't communicate well and it's difficult to tell if they are in pain. A Vet once told me that as long as your pet seems to find enjoyment in day to day living - and a little tail wagging, all is good. You will know when the time is right. Your Vet will help guide you ..
ReplyDeleteWe have an 11 year old english springer that's beginning to slow down. I know what's coming down the down and I get sick just thinking about it. I'm starting to say things like "she's had an amazing life" " - I am thankful that she has been healthy over the years. About a year ago we decided to get a puppy to keep her company. Three months ago, our puppy was tragically hit and killed by a car. I had to deal with the worst of it .. holding her as she struggled to her last breath. It was tragic and so sad that I cried for weeks. The breeder we worked was wonderful and encouraged us to get another puppy. We now have Layla and love her so much (still working on not having accidents in the house!) Dogs add so much to live, living, and general happiness (not to mention keeping my blood pressure down!) unfortunately they aren't with us for as long as we'd like them to be. I guess we need to go into it with that mind-set as difficult as that may be.
Hang in there, you've got a lot on your plate. Look at all the support you have here Debby! Call on friends - they/we are here for you. Get help if you need to.
Take Care,
Leslie
I had to do it for the first time and it was as everyone said above in their comments...absolutely heart wrenching. But she couldn't get up without help...was in pain and I knew it was the right time. I stayed home with her and held her all morning until we left for the vet. I can't remember when I have cried more.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for what you are going through. Just this past Monday, we had to make the same decision regarding our 12-year old Yorkie. He was a booger, but a true member of the family. It was a hard decision, and though we miss him terribly, we have not regretted doing the right thing for him. We realized that for all the pain we could see, who knows what he felt that we didn't even know about? You will know in your heart when his time is right. You and your family are in my prayers.
DeleteMy parents had to do it twice with our last two cocker spaniels....both dogs got sick and weren't getting better. Chance lived to be 9 or 10 years old but Benson was only 7. Both times were gut-wrenching. I feel for you. xx
ReplyDeleteOh, Debby! I am so, so sorry. I recently helped my best friend of 19 years move on, and I know all too well the heartbreak.
ReplyDeleteI was so worried, too about when it was the right decision. The vet, however, told me that I would know when, and she was absolutely right. One day, Sneaks did not come to greet me at the door. She lay on her bed and looked up at me, and I knew it was time to say goodbye.
I think you should do all that you can to keep your doggie's tail wagging. He will let you know when it is time, and you will be able to be there for him. Yes, it hurts more than anything, but such is love!
One of the things my vet told me was that when I got home, I should walk in the door and say, "Hi, Sneaks!" even though she was gone. I thought to myself: no way...I am not going to be that crazy girl talking to her dead dog! But I did. And it helped. In a strange way, I felt like I had simply acknowledged her presence. She will always be a part of my life, and she'll never really be gone. Same with your boy.
Such a hard decision...We had to put our yellow lab Heidi down at 12yo...she hurt, couldn't get up from lying down, walked with pain, couldn't do steps, and pain medication made her poop without warning. She was depressed and ashamed. We held her when our vet came out to the van and said goodbye. So hard but I know we made the right decision for her. Me? I still miss her and always will. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteOh how this tugs at my heart strings. Our dear boxer, Guinevere, was diagnosed with cancer at the age of only 5. One day I just knew it was time and the decision was made. I will miss her forever, but I know in my heart of hearts the right decision was made. You'll know when to hold your dear friend in your arms and ease her into whatever lies beyond.
ReplyDeleteDebby,
ReplyDeleteSending you big hugs dear! This is such a difficult decision. We have had to put down three of our pets in the last 7 years and each time it is a heartbreaking decision. I suppose the only advise I can offer is to listen to your heart. You will know when it is time. In the meantime, I will pray your furbaby isn't in any pain.
xoxo
Jen
Debby,
ReplyDeleteThis makes me so sad. There is no easy decision on this one. I have not had to put a dog down yet, but I have lost them in other ways. I have no wonderful words of wisdom on this one. Just sympathy for the position you are in.
xoxo Elizabeth
i am so sorry that your little dachsund is sick...i have had to put a pet down before, my beloved border collie Indiana. She was so sick and it was just so hard to watch her liveliness go.five years later and now i think back...it was the right decision. she is always in our hearts and it makes me more comforted to think we prevented the prolonging of any more suffering. i hope that you find peace with whatever you choose!
ReplyDeleteyou are so inspired.
ReplyDeleteYou will know. When the pain is more than their joy, then it is the right time. I had to make that decision with my two doxies, and it was heartbreaking, but they had lived almost 16 years, one almost 17. I had another doxie die from a lung infection that we fought almost continuously, that was equally hard. I have two happy boys now, and the memories of the family members before these two are still with us. It will hurt, and you will grieve, but you will know.
ReplyDeleteOh dear friend, this is certainly no easy time! I look over at my Jack Russell as I write this -- she is snuggled up in my grey blanket, so happy to sit with her bone. She is getting arthritis in her age, and has occasional asthma attacks that break my heart. I feel that when she gets to be in too much pain, we will have to let her go... like your little one, it's difficult to think of them leaving -- it's heart breaking. You will know when the time is right, I am confident of that. Take comfort in every day that you and your children enjoy him, and spoil him with love :)
ReplyDeleteWarmly,
Sarah
Last May, I had to say goodbye to my 18 year-old beautiful mutt, DeeOhGee. I'd struggled with the decision for months, but she essentially started making the decision for me: she quit eating, quit wanting to go out, and barely could hold her head up. She was in pain (many tumors, too numerous to count), and there was nothing more that the vet could do at her age. We found a wonderful vet who made house calls, which allowed DeeOhGee to die peacefully on her own bed, with my arms wrapped around her. She'd been by my side for 18 years, my shadow. (I swear, there are times I still think I hear her.) But I'm at peace with having to let her go; she gave me too much in her life for me to be selfish at the end and keep her here when she was in pain and did not enjoy her days. May you have that peace, too, when you finally have to make that decision.
ReplyDelete