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As much as I have tried to hang onto the family home during the divorce proceedings, it seems as if I will more than likely be forced to sell. My goal was to keep the kid's lives as uninterrupted as possible since they are already facing so many changes.
Of course this creates a whole new set of issues. Do I really want to buy a home in town for two years while my daughter finishes high school? Can I even afford this town? Will she be forced to switch schools? The list goes on and on.
The other day I had a bit of an epiphany. What I realized is I have been given a rare gift. I now have the opportunity to reinvent our lives. We can move anywhere. We can start over and make life what we want it to be. We don't have to live life in a little box. How many people get an second chance to start over? Home is more than just an address. Home is the people you love, it's security in really knowing who you truly are. We all hold the keys to our home.... we just have to unlock the door.
If you were given the opportunity to reinvent your life what changes would you make?
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If you were given the opportunity to reinvent your life what changes would you make?
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SO sorry to hear about the home Debby.....as one door closes, another chapter of your life will begin.
ReplyDeleteYou will do whats best for yourself and your kiddos. As long as you are together, WHERE you live doesnt matter:)
PS LOVE the table in the second photo:)
Inspiration for You, Your Home, & Everywhere in Between!
SO VERY TRUE Debby!!! Home is so much more than a physical place, its where you make it, and the first ingredient is love and family. Without it, its strictly a house. You are so right, this is like being given a brand new slate to start anew, if you look at it that way..though I realize its a little scary its also exciting, who knows what lies ahead!!
ReplyDeleteYou sound so grounded and I can feel your sense of peace and calm in knowing all this has worked out as it should...I just know you are going to find the answer to where you should be and it will happen. Like you said YOU hold the key, you just need to unlock it. Sending you a good luck hug and wishing you diamond paved roads in the journey you are about to take.......cannot wait to hear about things as they unfold.
Oh Debby, this must all be so stressful for you, but there will be happiness and contentment at the end of it for you.
ReplyDeleteI would love to have gotten married in my 20's and had a family, I think I'd be well suited to being a mum.
Oh darling Debby,
ReplyDeleteYou are being courageous and nothing can hold you back when you take on an attitude as such. I hug you tightly my friend, to let you know WE CARE, but also because this brave vision and truth needs to rub off on ALL OF US. Yes, YOU CAN DO THIS because we are survivors and where there LOVE, there is a way. Oh how I wish you the best of surprises for your new life. Anita
I lost the home i lived in for 18 years after my divorce, i moved with the kids to a much smaller space, and i had to begin from scratch. It was the best thing i ever did, or actually the best opportunity i got because i got to enjoy MY home the way i wanted , and meet fabulous people who are now my very good friends. The kids were a bit frustrated at the beginning, but they adapt so quickly, and the heart of a home is always the mother is, wherever you are, it will be home for them Debby...keep up the positiveness and great things will happen your way:)..have a lovely weekend, xo
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how much I admire you for looking at this as an opportunity and an exciting adventure. That's exactly what it is, because that's how you choose to see it. You're right, most people live in a little box, and though they would like to change, they feel stuck. You're embarking on a reinvention, and that's something not many people get to do! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI know it may be totally different from the stress you are under but as a military family we move often. This recent move had me in a house over five years and I didn't realize that I was so dug in. I moved and now for some weird reason, there is a sense of relief that I have left that part of my life. My kids are adjusting well and mostly because I am. Miss my friends but that is what skype is for. Clarity is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI truly admire the way in which you embrace a difficult rather traumatic situation. You are indeed offered a new beginning, grab it , your kids will be partners in this new adventure . If I had to make a change...(which I will in a few years)...it will be very drastic, a fixed address such as a small house either in the south if france or somewhere warm, a carry on bag and will lead my new nomadic life between Asia and Africa.
ReplyDeleteDear Debbie...I have been where you are now. A wise woman called me one day and gave me this advice,"You are old enough to have the wisdom to know what you love and young enough to go out into the world and have adventures. The world is at your feet, now go and do what it is that will bring you bliss." I took her advice and moved from Ohio to Cape Cod. I say make the change, grab the brass ring, and absolutely have great adventures!
ReplyDeleteYou have an admirable outlook on the situation, the kind of outlook that will enable to identify and grasp new opportunities.
ReplyDeleteWe're finally getting a little cold weather in NC...the fireplace looks heavenly. Hope you have a wonderful weekend, Debby!!
ReplyDeleteYOur attitude is an inspiration to us all Debbi! Yes, we just have to unlock the door. Praying for you as you make all the decisions. This is truly only the beginning for you and your sweet family.
ReplyDeleteWishing only the best for you,
Mimi
Your last couple of sentences really inspired me to keep going this week and try harder to get past the struggles I'm facing right now. Thank you for your insight and positive outlook. If I had any chance to start over, I'd go straight to Paris and rent a flat. In a heartbeat.
ReplyDeleteDebby,
ReplyDeleteI completly understand where you are coming from with the house-When my dad passed away my sister was only 14...My mom held onto the house as long as she could but eventually sold. It's easy to get very emotionally attached to a home, but it really is just a "house" and the memories that you shared there are what's important. Once you can let go of the "house" a new "home" with new memories are right around the corner :)
PS. if I were to re-incvent my life, I would live and work in Europe (perferably paris or the french riviera) <3
You give such fresh perspective. Optimistic. Love your blog!! xo
ReplyDeleteJess
Going through a divorce is a difficult change for everyone. I tried to include my children in all of the planning, which seem to make it a family endeavor. My heart goes out to you. It can be a nice challenge.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best. I'm here if you have concerns.
Teresa
xoxo
Is that doggie real above? He's cute but so little! I would move to Italy in a heartbeat and never come back. It's been a dream of mine forever I just wish the husband would get on broad with me. You're actually very lucky to have this chance I sort of envy you.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your weekend!
Debra
I am so sorry you are forced to lose your house. I am looking forward to hearing about your new home and your lovely new life, good luck sweetie.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Connie
I would love to live in the South of France, but my husbands not so keen.
ReplyDeleteTake hold of this opportunity with both hands Debby. Happy weekend xoxo
http://www.intotheblonde.com/
Beautiful and insightful! A message of hope. Thanks for sharing this~ home is where your heart is...when one door closes, another one opens. You are a strong person and you will be stronger. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI picked out the best of my household "treasures", left everything else behind and re-invented my home and my life with my daughters 6 years ago. It was the best, most empowering thing I have ever done. Creating my OWN home was the best thing ever. You're doing all the right things Debby!
ReplyDeleteWhen my parents got divorced it was hard but honestly? I was so excited to change school and live some place new. I went to a private school and would have to go to a public school. Even though a lot of kids would have been upset I was soooo excited. I love change- I always have. I looked at the new life as an adventure where I could make new friends and be a different person. It will work out, I know it will. Children and much more resilient than they sometimes let on.
ReplyDeletebeautifully written so touching and inspiring...having been where you are
ReplyDeleteI can say you will be fine. Never doubt yourself or your children's ability to adapt always remember you never walk alone.
As for me I love where I am now but Charleston, SC and Highlands, NC both cast
a spell on me when I visit if I did not have four grown children perhaps England.
God bless you.
I agree, this is an opportunity for you. Starting over is the most liberating thing anyone can experience.
ReplyDeleteNot only am I so happy you have chosen this view on your situation, but don't forget the wonderful example you are setting for your daughter. She will watch and see you strong and not defeated, a lesson so important and will carry her through many life decisions!! We are all cheering you on! I was divorced with two girls ... and picked them up and moved from Georgia to Massachusetts. It was not easy, we had some bumps ... but I have no doubt that we are exactly where we need to be and blessed to be here! xoxo
ReplyDeleteDebby, making the decision is the hardest part, my love. Once decided, you are then free to fly into new experiences and a new life. All women wrap themselves up into marriage and family, I know I did. When it ends, even if we wanted it to end, the drastic change takes a very long time to get used to. If you can just think this: In order to go forward, you must leave something behind. I say it to myself all the time, it makes me realize that nothing lasts forever except love of our family. Material things are very transient and come and go.
ReplyDeleteLook UP...look waaaay up, darling. Choose where you want to live next and go forth. Cannot wait to hear about the adventures. Marsha
as someone that moved every 3 years for the first 14 years of my marriage, i say just go for it
ReplyDeletei didn't regret any of our moves, yes it was scary, but an adventure as well
you need to buy a new place to just paint the walls that fabulous gray color in pic. #2
brett
Beautiful way of looking at it...the unknown, the scary part
ReplyDeleteNew beginning,new adventure,new home, new decor, all the best is yet to come for you Debby and without a doubt because of your attitude!!!
Enjoy every step, Sonia xo
Go for it Debby! You are gaining wisdom and growing as I write this. Although challenging for your kids, they will figure it out. You are a wonderful role model. Do something fun this weekend!
ReplyDeleteWow. It sounds so stressful and overwhelming but you always turn things around and find the positive. How amazing! I would definitely move out to California or Florida or somewhere warm where I could walk around barefoot!!
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend!
xo
Sharon
love this
ReplyDeletehttp://babylovesfashion.blogspot.com/
Really sorry to hear about the house, I have a friend who's going through the same thing right now. I admire your upbeat attitude! There's nowhere to go but up from here! :)
ReplyDeleteoh my dear Debbie, this change is inevitable, don't spend your energy trying to make it look as a little change.. it is a BIG Change! and now it is just time to embrace it. You deserve it! If I could start my life all over again I would just try to follow the life and social rules that I know work and are correct.. sometimes I know how can I do things well because it has already been proven but I just choose "the original own path" and I think I would do that. Don't know if its something good though, I would just do it. You could probably choose the middle point between your son and daughter schools... I wish you the best my beloved.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about all this you are going through right now.
ReplyDeletePraying for you! Kudos to you for staying so positive! And it definitely helps looking at adorable pictures of puppies!
I'm sorry about your house, but you've definitely found a perk. You get to reinvent yourself and your life, be exactly who you want to be :)
ReplyDeletecute
ReplyDeleteI just love your blog ! Its so inspirational :) Keep doing it, because you are really good at it :)
ReplyDeleteⓈⓈ ⒻⒶⓈⒽⒾⓄⓃ ⓌⓄⓇⓁⒹ
Debbie,
ReplyDeleteI think i would be near family. My family would be the ones that would help me through the times that would be tough. I know that i could count on them. It is great that you can find the positive side to what life throws at you. I will be saying a little prayer for you as you and your family are going through this.
It's been 12 years since I walked in similar shoes. Looking back, I would walk it again to be where I am today. To see my once young children now amazing adults. Home is NOT geography girl, home is what us mama's make it.
ReplyDeleteYou are approaching this with the perfect attitude! I'm so proud of you Debby and I hope that you are always able to stay so positive xo
ReplyDeleteHello Debby,
ReplyDeleteJust decided to drop by and was so surprised to hear how your life has changed.
Oh dear, I am so behind...
I love the hope, faith and courage I hear from you and whole heatedly believe that you will transform and reinvent it on your terms.
I've been reading back a ways and must tell you that you are truly an inspired writer!
You have a gift my friend and you are a giver!!
Thank you for sharing your journey and your wisdom with all of us in Blogland.
Good luck this year, I have a feeling there is a lot of wonderful things ahead for you and inspired design!!!
God Bless and I will be visiting regularly in 2012.
I love your attitude, my friend! And, this is quite true... when I was young, my Mother was on her own with me, and truly, though we moved a number of times, it did not matter. I was just happy to be with my Mother, and no matter where we moved to, she kept "life" the same. We still did the same fun things we always had, and that was what made it home... I recall reading about Rachel Ashwell's life and through a divorce, she did the same thing with her two children. If you do, and keep on the positive, all is well :) (and you ARE positive!)
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't change a thing about my life—I feel as though it is exactly as it is meant to be—I am growing and learning as the days go on, with more adventure in store soon...
Hope you are having a lovely weekend :)
Warmly,
Sarah
You have a beautiful blog. I have fallen in love with it and with the way you are dealing with your personal situation. You sound very strong and you will do the right thing.
ReplyDeleteI follow!!
www.tatianadoria.blogspot.com
I am so sorry to hear that, Debby. But you are so right. Home is the people you love. And now you have the opportunity to start anew which hopefully will be filled with lots of excitement & joy. xoxo
ReplyDeleteSuch a magnificent way to look at your situation! I like to think like that too! How much excitement could this new venture hold? Where will it take you? The possibilities are endless.
ReplyDelete~ Clare x